As an empath, I tend to take on other people’s energies as if it was my own. I can feel drained and exhausted after being around so many other people at once. For a stay at home mother of three children I can attest to how overwhelming even a simple playdate at a children’s play centre can be. Children screaming and crying, parents yelling,  loud noises of toys hitting the floor, the smell of dirty diapers can be all to much to handle some days. It is important to me to protect myself from taking on other people’s energies for my own holistic wellbeing. It has taken me years to learn what works best for me. There are things I do to prepare before going out to big events where I know it will be loud and chaotic. There are also things I have learned to do when coming home from these group gatherings to help guide me back into balance.

How to prepare yourself before going out:

There are a few things I will do to help myself prepare for dealing with high amounts of incoming energies, and possible even negative ones.

• When I am going to an event I know may triggers stress for me I like to do a quick meditation, and some deep breathing exercises to help calm and centre my mind. I like to do this to ground myself before I enter into a more high energy situation.
• After I feel centred I like to have a plan and be prepared. I plan the least stressful route to the event and back. As an empath I find freeways can be overwhelming with all the lights, traffic and movement so I have found if I make a plan ahead of time I am more likely to enter into an event more calm.
• I sometimes find it helpful to imagine myself at the event.When focusing your energy into visualizing a positive experience you place that energy into a pure intention. This will create a state being within yourself that is calm, content and focused. This will help set the stage for a more enjoyable experience at said event or situation. If you are attuned to reiki you can send yourself healing energy as well.
• Lastly I love to wear or carry crystals on me. Crystals can offer uplighting energy and can aid in helping to repel any negative energies from others around you.

What to do when you can’t handle the energies but you can’t leave the event:

A couple of little things you can do when you are in a situation where you feel you are overwhelmed with negative energies or even just bombarded with too much energies is to remove yourself temporarily from the situation.

• Doing a quick meditation in the bathroom can seem odd but taking a “time out” to do some deep breathing exercises (my favourite is nadi shodhana prayanama, or alternate nostral breathing technique) can calm the mind and focus your energy into bringing yourself back into balance.
• Self talk can help in disconnecting yourself from the situation or person that is overwhelming. When I’m around an extremely high energetic person that talks really fast and uses loud gestures I tend to walk away feeling anxious. This is a perfect example of how you can carry other people’s energy without necessarily realizing it. Recognizing that it is not your energy and releasing it can lighten your energy field. Remember it is not your burden to carry.
• Another great suggestion that was shared with me recently was to carry a bottle of  cleansing aromatherapy spray in your bag or purse. If you begin to feel  overwhelmed with energies, go to your car, or the bathroom to take a break and spray yourself with this cleansing spray. This is very similar idea to “saging” yourself. You can use essential oils such as sage, lavender, and/or any other essential oils you enjoy.

What to do when you have done everything you could think of and you still come home feeling drained:

Despite my best efforts of protecting myself from other’s energies I still tend to come home nine times out of ten feeling some what drained. I always need some down time to collect my thoughts and swift through any residual emotions that may be surrounding me.

• One way you can cleanse yourself of any negativity is do an activity you love to do, like going for a walk, practicing yoga or going for a bike ride. Do anything that makes you feel great and brings up your personal vibration. This helps to set your mind in a positive space increasing your feel-good hormones which will help to shift your emotions.
• Use the elements to ground and cleanse yourself. You can have bath or shower to wash away the energy. You can ground yourself in the earth by going into to nature, gardening or walking barefoot on the ground.
• Saging yourself and/or burning aromatherapies or candles can cleanse the space and your aura.
• Meditation or even just sitting in a silence can do miracles when trying to reset yourself.
• Journaling can also be helpful when learning what works best for you or how you can handling certain situations more effectively. By writing these things down you can better understand how you cope best in certain situations and maybe what events are ok to opt out of. Sometimes we think we will offend others if we don’t do what they may expect us to do but honouring ourselves and what we are comfortable doing is essential for maintaining good holistic wellbeing.

For some of us with this “gift” it can feel like a curse at times, but the more we understand our unique challenges the easier it becomes to find joy in the chaos we sometimes feel. I feel it’s important to be open and honest and share these challenges you experience with your friends and loved ones. This can help them understand why you may need to do certain things like go for a “time-out” walk away from the crowds or have a quiet bath when you get home to reset. There are many ways to find holistic balance. Make sure to be patient and compassionate with yourself as you discover what works best for you.

Some of us experience the world very differently. Sounds, smells, and noises can bring on feelings of anxiety. Crowds can be draining and overwhelming on the best of days. We tend to take in all the energies around us and experience them as if they were our own. At times it can feel like we are carrying the weight of the world on our shoulders. This is what it means to be an empath.

As a child I would often feel things I couldn’t explain. I grew up in a family of six people, three of which where loud, energetic brothers. Though I loved them all, I remember the noises of the household would leave this heavy energy behind that often left me feeling drained. As a child I naturally found places to go to that would help me to centre myself and cope with the overwhelming amounts of stimuli I was feeling. I would escape to my grandmother’s house or retreat into my bedroom to sit in silence as I grounded myself.  I always found it strange that no one else seemed to struggle with these issues the same way I did. Over time this state of being became normal to me and I learned to accept that I was a bit different.

It was later on in life that I really started to notice how much I struggled with this. Moving to the big city at the age of 19 was paralyzing for me. There was a huge part of me that wanted to experience the beautiful diversity and culture that a city has to offer and the other apart of me was drowning in anxiety. I spent years living in this high state of suffering. Everyday I experienced physical pain that came from the stress of overstimulation. My stomach was always in knots, constantly sick and experiencing muscle pains and physical fatigue.  More often then not I would come home feeling drained from my day as if I absorbed the energies from all the people around me. As many empaths do, I began to shut out the world as a means of coping. I slowly started to make sense of all these feelings and I learned that I am an extremely sensitive person, so much so that I could feel emotional and even physical pains from others.

After reading more about this I began to see that there was a way I could turn what I always perceived to be a negative trait into embracing it as an amazing gift. This was such a new concept for me. I always felt being an empath was a sign of weakness. In our culture we are always told to be tough and not let anything bother us. Being raised in a society that sees emotional release as a weakness, it can be a challenge to begin to see our “sensitivity” as a gift. I learned through self exploration and understanding of who I am that I began to feel empowered by this new sense of self awareness. That I can choose to see my challenges as a hinderance or I can choose to see it as way to connect to others. My ability to feel other people’s pain gives me an opportunity to help others.

Do not let your struggles define you, whatever they may be. Use your new found understanding of these challenges to empower you to help aid others on their journey. I once heard someone say when trying to search for the meaning of your life, go back to the place of personal pain and struggle. It is through experiencing those struggles that we can learn to rise above them and can begin to help others through sharing the lessons we have learned. We become a living example of what human strength, commitment and persistent can bring. My struggles makes me human, raw and real. My strength and persistence to overcome them makes me a warrior. Become a warrior of your personal truth where your own unique challenges become your gifts to the world.